Inspired By Joel Osteen, Kanye West To Auction Off Kim Kardashian’s First Pair Of Butt Implants To Help Fund His New Megachurch

Kanye plans on selling Kim’s original implants to help his new church get off the ground. In recent weeks it has become clear to him that he was meant to be the leader of a megachurch. Visits with Joel Osteen have encouraged West to embark on this new adventure. Joel is helping Kanye to develop … Read more

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Mortician Who Had Been Stealing Testicles For Albondigas Soup, Has Been Taken Into Custody.

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Houtson TX- A local mortician Stewart Stump had been removing the testicles from men that passed through the funeral home he worked at. Stump would use the balls to make albondigas soup. This had been going on for years until Stump got careless and dropped a ball. The next morning his boss, Brent Couler, found … Read more

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Stripper Drops Turd On Stage. Requests For Her Lap Dances Double As A Result

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Houston, TX- Stripper Maryanne “Diamond” Simons is a popular stripper at Knockers, but as of Saturday night she is the must see attraction! It was just a regular Saturday night as Diamond was dancing to some nickleback song when things started to take a turn in a new direction. Diamond dropped her bottoms and got … Read more

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Houston Man Arrested With Balloons Full Of Heroin In His Buttocks, Blames Bad Mexican Food.

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Houston, Texas- Dwayne Macadoo went to the hospital because he had terrible stomach pains. The doctors asked the routine questions and when they asked have you eaten lately that you think may have caused this pain, Macadoo responded with, “well I just got back from Mexico and I did eat seafood and drink the water … Read more

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Amish man eats family after record snowstorm traps them in house and takes off to Florida.

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Miami, Florida- A ghostly pale man drew attention on the beaches of Miami. A lifeguard thought he’d talk to the man since it was obvious he didn’t spend much time at the beach and wanted to make sure he would be cautious if he went into the ocean. When speaking to the man (later identified … Read more

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