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Month: March 2020

Montana Man Dies From Eating 273 Of His Pet Goldfish

March 25, 2020 Bonine 0
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Missoula, MT- Arnold “Arnie” Wilson, 62 of Missoula Montana has died after eating 273 goldfish from his personal fish tank. The fish were too much for him to digest at once. With all of those fish floating around in his belly their feces began to pile up inside him and […]

Houston Mortician Arrested For Trafficking Drugs In Corpses.

March 24, 2020 Bonine 3
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Houston, TX- 34 year old Spencer Williams had been trafficking drugs in corpses for 2 years before he was caught. During a viewing at his funeral home on March 22nd, one of the grieving family members noticed a little something in the mouth of their dearly departed uncle and asked […]

Funeral Home Employee Gets Caught With His Pants Down. Suspected Of 137 Acts Of Necrophilia

March 21, 2020 Bonine 2
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Bakersfield, California- Phil Keller aged 33, is under suspicion of at least 137 acts of necrophilia after his manager caught him having intercourse with a prostitute he should have been pumping full of embalming fluid, not his penis. “I can’t believe the son of a bitch. The shit he was […]

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Shep Arnold Who Sold Jerky Made Of Human Meat Started Off With His Mother

March 19, 2020 Bonine 0
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Butte, MT – In a strange twist of events Shep Arnold reveals to police how his debauchery began. “Jerky making has been part of my family for generations. My Grandad Earl Arnold was the best I’d ever seen. I always wanted to live up to his standards. Man I tried […]

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His Mother Was Professionally Mummified And He’s Been Living With Her Body For The Last 20 Years

March 18, 2020 Bonine 0
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Midland, TX- Former pipe fitter Richard “Rex” Campbell has been living with the mummified remains of his mother for over 20 years. Before we go any further let us state that there has been no crime committed. Ursula Campbell passed away from natural causes in the late 90’s and it […]

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Siblings and Sex Partners, Murder And Cannibalize Their Entire Family

March 17, 2020 Bonine 12
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Ranchester, Wyoming- Brother and sister, Ted and Amanda Matthews have been arrested on multiple charges of some seriously shocking crimes. The Matthews family has always kept to themselves with only the most dire of emergencies bringing anyone of them into town. So it was no surprise to most that their […]

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Beavis AKA “The Great Cornholio” Is Losing His Sh*t Because There Is No T.P. For His Bunghole

March 14, 2020 Bonine 0
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Highland, TX- According to multiple sources Beavis is completely losing his shit over not being able to find T.P. for his bunghole. He will not be called anything but “The Great Cornholio” 24/7. “The Great Cornholio is a creature that needs T.P. to survive and we have never seen him […]

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Seattle High-Schoolers Feed Seagulls Alka-Seltzer And Get Expelled From School When The Birds Burst In The Air

March 13, 2020 Bonine 0
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Seattle, WA- Three local high-schoolers have been expelled from school after they gave seagulls food stuffed with Alka Seltzer. The names and photos of the pranksters will not be released due to their ages. and these “pranksters” thought that’s all this would be, a prank. Well they got that and […]

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CORONAVIRUS FOUND IN METH. AUTHORITIES ARE URGING ANYONE WITH THE DRUG TO PLEASE TURN IT IN TO THIER LOCAL POLICE STATION FOR TESTING.

March 5, 2020 Bonine 1
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Houston , TX- Local authorities have become aware that the deadly coronavirus has been found in crystal meth. According to criminal informants a shipment of meth that went through the port of Houston, was laced with the virus. There is extra concern for users of this drug and possibly contracting […]

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