Cootersville, Alabama- Jeff Bezos is an international man of non mystery. Many despise him yet still use his amazon services daily. He is the king of modern day capitalism and pretty much gets his way in every aspect of his life. Bezos recently found out there is a rainforest in […]
Ralph Macerow (28) of Butte MT, was rushed to the hospital after he could no longer fit any horses in his arse and needed to get them out stat! Mr. Macerow was trying to win a bet with his buddy’s to see who could fit more toy horses up their […]
Westlake, CA- Toe thumbs (clubbed thumbs) are more than just stubby digits. They can be read like a palm (kind of). Toe thumbs in men are a good indication of what size their penis is. Toe thumbs are a sign of stunted penis growth as well. Max erections of 5 […]
Butte, MT- One industry often overlooked during these trying times is the adult toy industry. The powerful motors that drive and shake massive vibrators are in short supply. The silicon used for your double sided 18in. weapons of mass destruction, also in short supply. This has left 100’s of millions […]
Houston, TX- A man known only by the moniker “The Booty Shorts Bandit”, has struck once again at another unsuspecting Wal-Mart. “TBSB” as he is known to police is the most prolific self-checkout thief in the last 20 years. It is estimated that he has stolen in upwards of 850K […]
Intercourse, PA- Shem Clemmit (24) is being sought after by local authorities after pictures of him surfaced on Instagram sporting stolen wheels on his vehicle. The wheels in question are 36 inches of pleasure. Wheel wholesaler Barney Minn reported the theft a week prior. Clemmit was last seen making a […]
Butte, MT- Bethany Sanders (31) was returning from a court hearing in Butte Montana where she was testifying against her uncle Shep Arnold in his human beef jerky trail. Sanders was hoping for a reduced sentence for her testimony. Sanders was complicit in some of the lesser crimes related to […]
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