Disneyland, CA- In what can only be described as a disgusting turn of events, The Pirates Of The Caribbean ride is closed until further notice after a woman shat all over one of the boats on the ride and in the water as well. All was going on great Sunday […]
Ryan Lester (33) of Galveston Texas, is at home recovering after a near death experience with a giant sea clam. Ryan was taking a late night stroll on the shores of Galveston to try and help get over a breakup. His girlfriend had broken up with him the week prior. […]
Professional Cyclist Bethany Sanders was practicing for her next race in Italy when the most terrible thing imaginable happened! She wound up on a bumpy road and she must have hit one bump just right because all of the sudden her bike seat slipped right up into her vagina. Immediately […]
Folsom, CA- Throwing bags semen is an act of terrorism when you’re a prisoner in Folsom, so when Kent Green Tossed 5 huge bags at semen on Correction Officers (CO’s), all the other prisoners stood in disbelief for a short time before turning on each other and starting a riot […]
Ojai, CA- While on a hike in Ojai California, Brothers Matt and Hugh Mangrel had an experience they will never forget. Matt was taking a leak off the side of the trail in some brush when out of nowhere a snake leapt upwards and grabbed hold of his penis. “That […]
Janesville, Wisconsin – William “Bill” Redding (53) and Kevin Waverly (31) , Have been arrested for the abduction of an unknown amount of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Records for witnesses are not as easy to come by, so an exact number may be weeks away. At least two men, Jebidiah Foresythe (22) […]
“I yanked as hard as I could. I yanked until I ripped his cheating balls off!” Los Angeles, California- Jessica Perez was brought into custody after a man who arrived at a hospital without his balls named her as the culprit. Shocked emergency room workers worked hard to stop the […]
Excited hardly covers how pumped up people are over Walt Disney coming back to life later this year. Disney is planning all kinds of events that will take place towards the end 2022 featuring Walt. But before all that happens Disney has announced that it will air Walt Disney being […]
In sad news today, a memory foam mattress has taking its own life. The mattress spent its life with Spencer McGill (22). They had been together for 10 years. In that 10 years it saw many many things which cannot be spoken of, but a few that can. It made […]
Burlington, MA- Kuerig Dr Pepper has announced that the company will no longer produce the long running citrus drink 7UP. CEO Robert Gamgort made the announcement early October 15th regarding the long running beverage. Sales have been at an all time low. “7UP has meant so much to all of […]
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