Manny Lews passed away on Sunday when his penis got lodged in his throat and he suffocated to death. Manny had long been known to be able to suck his own dick. He would do it at parties or for the right amount of cash, but what people didn’t know […]
Switzerland- Reports from CERN have come out that men with toe thumbs are 10X more likely to have an above average penis of 8″ or more. “The stumped thumb gene leaves more DNA available for the penis. It you don’t believe me I can drop my pants”, said one scientist. […]
Karen McHough (34), was in line for Walmart’s Black Friday sale which unceremoniously started on Wednesday. Karen forgot her vape in her car so she asked the couple in line behind her to save her spot. The couple agreed. Relieved she could go grab her vape and be back in […]
Kanye plans on selling Kim’s original implants to help his new church get off the ground. In recent weeks it has become clear to him that he was meant to be the leader of a megachurch. Visits with Joel Osteen have encouraged West to embark on this new adventure. Joel […]
London, England- Keith Richards (77) went missing the other night and not too many people were worried, as Keith is immortal right? Well no he’s not, but more to the point Richards was supposed to show up for a rehearsal at Wembley Stadium the previous night. If there’s one thing […]
Ojai, CA- Late last night a S.W.A.T. team raided an underground brothel that catered to those who enjoy sleeping with the dead. Right on highway 33, this brothel blended in with the rest of the businesses on that stretch of road. During the day it was an abandoned building, but […]
Liberty Jones is suing a man because his prosthetic penis fell off during sexual intercourse in a parked car. Liberty claims the penis got stuck inside her cavernous vagina making it impossible for her to do business with any other men. She thought something was suspicious about his penis, “I’ve […]
Bakersfield, CA- Matthew Fithem (52), kept his mothers body in a freezer after she died of natural causes 3 years earlier. It is unknown as to why he didn’t alert authorities to her death, but the suspicion is that he wanted to keep her all to himself. Oscar Valentino was […]
Houston, TX- Ralph Leander (37) was the owner/manager of a popular laundromat in Houston until his scheme to increase business was foiled after 33 people crapped themselves and the only thing they had in common was that they all did their laundry at his place. Ralph has been down on […]
New York, NY- Arthur Manner (57) is just your average New York bank manager. It sounds more exciting than it is, he manages a chase branch. Nothing fancy. Good guy and liked by all. He and his wife Jenny have been married 35yrs. Two adult children and a dog complete […]
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