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Month: July 2022

Florida Man Claims Judgmental People Have Kept Him From Finding A Job.

July 24, 2022 Bonine 0
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Santander Olivier (33) of Miami Florida has had enough “Sorry you’re not what we’re looking for” responses from potential employers to give anyone doubts about their ability to find work and thrive in today’s society. Santander believes that ever since he has transitioned and became an alien, people have used […]

Man Caught Trying To Smuggle 45 MAGA Hats Onto Airplane In His Rectal Cavity. “Why Didn’t He Just Put Them In His Suitcase?”

July 22, 2022 Bonine 0
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Helena, MT- Helena Regional Airport was the site of some commotion today when a large man was caught trying to smuggle 45 MAGA hats in his anus onto a airplane. Peter Peters was stopped by TSA when the body scanner showed the hats in his ass. TSA agents asked Peter […]

Biden Wants To Change The Name Of The White House To Something More “Ethnically Inclusive”

July 19, 2022 Bonine 0
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Washington D.C. – President Biden made waves today when word leaked on his next project to build back better. He wants the name of the White House changed to something more ethnically inclusive. “Having the home of the most powerful man in the free world called the “White” house is […]

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The Band Metallica Who Famously Sued Napster, Sues Stranger Things For Using Band’s Song During Season 4 Finale

July 18, 2022 Bonine 0
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Hollywood, CA- The band Metallica has filed a civil lawsuit in an LA county courthouse today claiming the show Stranger Things and the executives behind the scenes used their music without permission and are seeking compensation for damages incurred. The character Eddie Munson (portrayed by Joseph Quinn) plays an epic […]

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Saudi Prince Said He Needed Two Hands To Grab Ivanka Trump By The P***y

July 17, 2022 Bonine 0
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Saudi Arabia- Prince Nassir Limon Arafatee had the privilege of meeting the former president’s daughter during her good will tour of the Middle East. Arafatee wanted to please and impress his guest as she was the daughter of such a powerful man. Arafatee remembered that her father likes to grab […]

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R. Kelly Jumps Off 50 Story New York Courthouse Singing “I Believe I Can Fly”.

July 12, 2022 Bonine 0
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R. Kelly (Robert Sylvester Kelly) was faced with the prospect of decades in prison when jumped off the Orange County Court House today. He was supposed to be guarded at all times, but was able to sneak away during a shift change and reached the top of the 50 story […]

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Celine Dion Now Identifies As An Alien And Has Removed All Female Genitals From Their Body.

July 10, 2022 Bonine 0
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Hollywood California- In what can only be described as a shocking turn of events, Celine Dion has announced to the world that they are now an Alien after transitioning from a female human to a superior intergalactic species. Dion has openly spoken in the past about their disdain for humans […]

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