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Articles by Bonine

Male Stripper Mistakenly Shows Up At Biker Gang Clubhouse Instead Of Bachelorette Party. Gets Beat Up And Sent To The Hospital In Critical Condition

November 21, 2022 Bonine 0
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Phoenix, AZ- Randy Simons (33) AKA “Peter Cummings”, is clinging to life at a local Phoenix hospital after a vicious beating at the hands of a biker gang. Randy mistakenly showed up to the house of an active member of the biker gang, “Hermanos Locos”. Randy Simons moonlights as a […]

Man Is Clinging To Life After 14″ Penis Reduction Surgery Goes Horribly Wrong.

November 9, 2022 Bonine 0
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Los Angeles, CA- Richard Malone (41), is comatose in the CCU (Critical Care Unit) at UCLA Medical Center. He has been in a coma for close to two weeks after his penis reduction surgery went horribly wrong. Richard is a life long AngelinĂ² and has many friends and relatives in […]

Naked Woman Chases Jehovah’s Witnesses Off Of Her Porch And Down The Street Yelling, “Succumb To My Devil Vagina Magic!”

October 17, 2022 Bonine 0
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Fillmore California – Brandy Williams has been taken to Ventura County jail after an altercation involving two Jehovah’s Witnesses. Ms. Williams was seen running naked after two young men on bicycles who were going door to door to spread the message of Christ in her neighborhood. “Ms. Williams thought it […]

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Woman Impregnates 7 Female Correction Officers At A California State Prison

October 17, 2022 Bonine 0
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Alice McEleny (44) of Bakersfield California, has been put into solitary confinement in a secure federal maximum security prison under the tightest security. Because of the heinousness of her crimes, her current location will not be disclosed to the public for fear of retaliation. Alice, who was born Alex McElney, […]

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The Governor Of California Is Offering A Free Name Change To Any Brandon Whom Would Like A Name That The Republicans Haven’t Destroyed

October 15, 2022 Bonine 0
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Sacremento, CA- Word from the Governor’s office has leaked out that starting on Monday, Governor Gavin Newsom will sign into effect a bill that will hasten the process for anyone named Brandon who wants to change their name. Along with a speedier process for those afflicted with the name, Newsom […]

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Stranded On An Island For 47 Grueling Hours, Man Is Forced To Eat His Wife To Survive

October 10, 2022 Bonine 0
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Luke and Carole Offenhiem were on their 20th wedding anniversary when the most terrible thing happened. While vacationing in Honolulu, the couple decided to rent a small boat and go exploring. About an hour into the trip the two stopped somewhere in the pacific to have sandwiches. About to head […]

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Florida Governor Rick DeSantis, Sends California Governor, Gavin Newsom, A Picture Of His Massive Penis To Assert Dominance

September 21, 2022 Bonine 0
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Sacremento, CA- California Governor Gavin Newsom won’t soon forget opening an email sent by Florida Governor Rick DeSantis. The subject of the email; “Big things are coming”. There was an attached file and when Newsom opened it, a large, fully erect penis with ejaculate dripping off the tip, was displayed […]

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Man’s Final Wish To Have His Soul Uploaded Onto Internet Has Been Granted By Google

August 18, 2022 Bonine 0
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Larry Jones (43), succumbed to injuries sustained in a car accident this past July. Larry lived on his own and kept good relationships with his loving family. When Larry was put on life support following the accident, the real possibility of his passing had hit his family. During a search […]

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Florida Man Claims Judgmental People Have Kept Him From Finding A Job.

July 24, 2022 Bonine 0
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Santander Olivier (33) of Miami Florida has had enough “Sorry you’re not what we’re looking for” responses from potential employers to give anyone doubts about their ability to find work and thrive in today’s society. Santander believes that ever since he has transitioned and became an alien, people have used […]

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Man Caught Trying To Smuggle 45 MAGA Hats Onto Airplane In His Rectal Cavity. “Why Didn’t He Just Put Them In His Suitcase?”

July 22, 2022 Bonine 0
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Helena, MT- Helena Regional Airport was the site of some commotion today when a large man was caught trying to smuggle 45 MAGA hats in his anus onto a airplane. Peter Peters was stopped by TSA when the body scanner showed the hats in his ass. TSA agents asked Peter […]

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