Beaumont, TX – Matthew Johnson (25) was arrested Sunday when he was caught having sexual relations with “Emmy”, the family sheep. Matthew was caught by his father who left church to pick up his wife’s asthma inhaler with the intentions of returning back to the service. Matthew’s dad, Phil, heard a strange noise coming from … Read more Man Caught Having Sex With The Family Sheep
Orlando, FL- James Litchenson was caught by the janitor at the local YMCA with a grapefruit on his schlong. The janitor, who wishes to remain anonymous, said “I was just following a trail of this mess on the group with my mop and when I got to the end I saw this pendejo f*cking a … Read more Florida Man Caught Using A Grapefruit To Please Himself While Peeping On Elderly Women At Local YMCA
Sheila is a hero to all us women who have been cheated on, lied to and treated like dirt. Not all men have to fear her wrath. “I’m only looking to take off the schlongs of the men who have betrayed me”, says Getty. It all started with Sheila wanting to get back at an … Read more Sheila Getty Is Whacking Off The Weenies Of All The Men Who Did Her Wrong 🔪
Vladimir Pechenko is just your average guy, except for one minor difference. Pechenko drinks his own semen to help combat the signs of aging. When asked how this all began, Pechenko had this to say “I got to thinking how my stuff must be full of vitamins and minerals. Women go crazy for the stuff … Read more Russian Man Has Been Drinking His Semen For Years And Swears By It
Berkeley, CA- Max Hoffman (44) was arrested this past week. Hoffman has been linked to the deaths of 7 people, of which 5 are suspected to have been meals for Hoffman. Hoffman had alluded police for 4 years, but it was not until he went vegan that he got caught. Hoffman being a vegan in … Read more The California Cannibal Has Finally Been Caught!! And You Won’t Believe How He Was Found Out!
Kanye plans on selling Kim’s original implants to help his new church get off the ground. In recent weeks it has become clear to him that he was meant to be the leader of a megachurch. Visits with Joel Osteen have encouraged West to embark on this new adventure. Joel is helping Kanye to develop … Read more Inspired By Joel Osteen, Kanye West To Auction Off Kim Kardashian’s First Pair Of Butt Implants To Help Fund His New Megachurch
Houtson TX- A local mortician Stewart Stump had been removing the testicles from men that passed through the funeral home he worked at. Stump would use the balls to make albondigas soup. This had been going on for years until Stump got careless and dropped a ball. The next morning his boss, Brent Couler, found … Read more Mortician Who Had Been Stealing Testicles For Albondigas Soup, Has Been Taken Into Custody.
Bakersfield, CA- Matthew Fithem (52) kept his mothers body in a freezer after she died of natural causes 3 years earlier. It is unknown as to why he didn’t alert authorities to her death, but the suspicion is that he wanted to keep her all to himself. Oscar Valentino was called out to the Fithem … Read more California Man Keeps His Mothers Body In Freezer For “Those Long Lonely Nights”