Caitlyn Jenner Diagnosed With Stage 3 Testicular Cancer


Hollywood, CA- In sad news today, a spokesperson for Caitlyn Jenner has confirmed rumors that the athlete, media mogul, inspirer of millions, has indeed been diagnosed with stage 3 testicular cancer. Contrary to popular opinion, Jenner’s balls were not removed along with her penis during her transitional operation. Instead they were tucked up and sewn inside her new vagina as requested by Jenner. That turned out to be a terrible idea.

Years of steroid abuse during her athletic career left her susceptible for cancer related issues down the line. Those issues are now a reality. Doctors are recommending that her balls be removed from inside her vagina if there is any chance for survival.

Never one to turn down a television opportunity, Jenner is holding off on any testicular operation until a newly scheduled meeting with television executives can be held. “Caitlyn wants the opportunity to base a show off of her testicular struggles and use monies from that show to finance her ball removal operation”, an spokesperson for E! told us.

“The longer she waits to have her balls removed, the greater the likelihood that the cancer will have spread. It is a dangerous case of cat and mouse she is playing by wanting to have a television show in place before having the procedure.”, Dr. Peter Anderson of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

We here at wish Jenner nothing but the best and would love to be the first to interview her has sans balls.

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