Florida Man Claims PTSD From An Alien Abduction Led Him Into A Life Of Anal Probing Strangers With His Fingers


Chuck Simons of Miami Florida has made a shocking confession to police. Simons claims that he was abducted by Aliens and had spent over one month aboard a spaceship. While in the custody of the Extraterrestrials, Simons says that he was probed Anally for 37 straight days. “They would stick all sorts of shit up my ass all in the name of furthering the Alien race”, said Simons.

“I found the experience to be incredibly enlightening. The Aliens suggested that I be a conduit for them by probing humans here on earth and reporting back to the Mothership. How could I say no?”, Simons would later tell authorities. So that’s what he proceeded to do. Chuck Simons spent the next weeks and months catching people by surprise with his fingers.

Mr. Simons is a sick man. Hopefully he can get the help he needs.

“I would just creep up from behind and slip my finger up someone’s bum. I was to insert my finger in my mouth after extracting it from the subjects anus. Once in my mouth, my tongue would decode the information found on my finger and I would telepathically send the information back to the mothership”.

Chuck Simons was picked up by authorities after an elderly lady reported that he had put his finger up her ass while riding on a bus. After relaying his harrowing story to Miami-Dade police, he was transported to the local mental hospital where he is expected to stay until he is capable to stand trial. Simons claims that he suffers from PTSD from his abduction and that that led him into a life of probing and sodomy. It will be up to prosecutors to discredit that theory.

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