Blue Ridge, GA- Ernest Cornwebby III (59), is just your everyday kind of fellow. Not know for his smarts or being extraordinary in any way. “Ernie” to the people of Blue Ridge, is dependable and honest. Slow, but steady. “A good man with a heart of gold. Just a little slow is all”, his mother said.
On Sundays Ernie would butcher chickens for the week. When Ernie was young he would accompany his Grandpappy to the barn and watch him butcher chickens and listen intently to stories of when he was a young man. Last Sunday Ernie did something his Grandpappy Ernest Cornwebby Sr. used to talk about from the olden days.
Ernest senior would speak of his eldest brother Charlie Cornwebby and how he would do this trick with the chickens head after he whacked it off the body. He would stick his schlong in the neck of the butchered chickens head and chase his brothers around clucking like a chicken. And this past Sunday, Ernie, alone in the barn decided to give it a try himself.
He grabbed the head of the last chicken to be butchered that day and put his member firmly into the neck of that chicken. Like we mentioned before, Ernie is a little slow. That poor fool shoved his junk in so far it came out the hens mouth and he could not pull it back out with the beak digging into his beefstick.
This freaked him out and he ran inside best he could with his pants around his ankles through the back door. His mother, Esther Cornwebby was busy making an apple pie for the nights dinner, when she caught the scare of her life. “That son of mine came running in the back door with a damn chicken head on his penis”. Ernie pled for help removing the head. Calmly his mother went to the freezer and grabbed a bag of frozen peas and told her son to “go in the other room and put this on yourself until, well until you can wiggle free.
Ernie thought his mom a genius. Who would of thought a little cold would shrink his dong. When the peas did their work the head fell right off only to be grabbed by “Tom” the house cat for a snack. Ernie was beyond pleased with the results and went to thank his mom. She said to him, “son, did your Grandpappy ever tell you the story of your Great Uncle Charlie?”. Charlie shook his head and promised never to do that again. Although in the back of his mind, Charlie was already looking forward to starting a new thanksgiving tradition…