Joel Osteen Suspected Of Aiding The Smuggling Of Horse Medicine Into The U.S.


Houston, TX- Megachurch Pastor, Joel Osteen in under some scrutiny after shipments of horse medicine were seized in McAllen Texas by customs. 7 individuals claim the televangelist told them telepathically to go to Mexico and smuggle back some horse medicine.

The name and purpose of the drug will remain guarded as authorities believe the backlash would make things worth than they already are. When asked about the claims of these 7 men Joel had this to say, “man listen here. If I was held culpable for all the insane things some of my congregants do, I would never see the light of day again. Did I telepathically tell these men to do what they did? Hello no! If I was able to telepathically communicate with folks, I would use that power to get laid by 2 chicks at once. Scratch that last part from the record mmkay?”

Well there you have it. Joel doesn’t know what the fuck these dudes are talking about. Ringsssss will keep an eye on this story and if anything new develops you can be sure to hear it here first. Also we’ll keep you up to date if Joel gets to sleep with 2 chicks at once.

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