Man Creates Voice Activated Device That Enables Him To Ejaculate On Command. Things Get Seriously Messy When He Goes To A Funeral…


Winston Andover of Portland Oregon, wanted to break into the adult film industry as a way of making some quick cash after losing his job during the past year. Winston knows he’s not especially attractive or even a good fit in pornography, so he had to have a gimmick. Ron Jeremy wasn’t especially attractive, but he could maintain an erection forever.

He racked his brain. What could he do to stand out? Eureka! He would devise a way to cum on demand. That would be an excellent feature. But how? After months of trial and error, Winston shoved an electro particle magnetic accelerator up his ass and snug against his prostate. It was voice operated to stimulate the prostate with the words, “Oh My God!” and boom! Blast Off!

Fool proof he thought. A fool he was. Before he could impress porn executives his friend, Cleotus McGillicuddy passed away after running out of oxygen on Mt. Everest and freezing to death. Winston had to attend the funeral of his dearly departed friend. There were hundreds of people in attendance. It was quite obvious Cleotus had made an impression on many people.

“I saw what Winston did to my beloved brother, Cleotus. And as disrespectful as it was, I did get a little moist”, Melibecca McGillicuddy

When it was time for Winston to view his friends body, he went right after the family. While saying some words to his friend, the family were besides themselves with grief and then it began. “Oh My God!” upon “Oh My God!” started erupting from the family. They were clearly taking his passing hard. And all of the sudden Winston’s device went wild. Each “Oh My God!” sent out a shot of man love, but the “Oh My God’s!” were happening so fast now that his meat stick burst out the crotch of his pants and sprayed his natures frosting all over Cleotus.

The shock of those in attendance caused many to pass out while several others grabbed Winston and beat the shit out of him. His friend facialized and soaked, Winston was dragged out of the building and held until authorities came to pick him up.

He is currently awaiting trail for desecration of a corpse and conducting sex acts in public. When asked what happened Winston Andover had this to say, “Man I sure wish I hadn’t of spooged all over Cleotus like I did, but I think he would of found some humor in it”. We’re not so sure of that. He continued, “I drew the attention of several porn companies and have been asked to recreate what happened, but this time with people pretending to be dead. What a strange stroke of luck!”.

Luck? We’re not so sure. But hey, every dog has its day.

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