Oxnard, CA- Ben Nichols (30), likes to party. He likes to impress people by drinking Bacardi 151 straight out of the bottle. One time he finished off an entire handle, 1.75L in one chug without puking.
Ben also likes to smoke Camel non-filter cigarettes. He’s a good time kinda guy. One night at a house party Ben was up to his usual tricks. For some reason he thought his drinking acumen would impress the ladies. Turns out no one is or has ever been impressed with Ben.
Somewhere around 1:00 in the morning, Ben got an Uber to take him home. When he got out the car he couldn’t wait to light up one of his Camel non-filter cigarettes and take a piss in his neighbors bushes. They were asshole neighbors.
His bladder was so full that he started to pass out while waiting for it to empty. All the while his cigarette dangling from his lips, burning slowly to nothing. His head fell forward causing him to snap it back into place. This quick change of direction caused the cigarette to be jettisoned from his lips directly into his stream of urine.
A great flash rocketed Ben back into reality, but before he could fully gather his thoughts he felt an intense burning pain on his schlong. Not the same kinda burning pain that Sally had given him a few years ago. No, this time his penis was on fire! His urine was so saturated with the Bacardi 151 that when the lit cigarette fell into the stream it caught fire.
Ben was rushed to St. Johns hospital with 3rd degree burns all over his schlong. After 4 weeks in the hospital, Ben and his charred wiener were released. When asked about the condition of his burnt sausage Ben said, “gimme some Bacardi and i’ll tell you all about it”.
Ben, we at ringsssss believe this will not be the last we hear about you.