September 16, 2021

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The Church Of Scientology To Buy Catholicism For $400 Billion. The Pope Gives His Blessing.

Beverly Hills, CA- Reports are surfacing from the church of scientology that they are in talks with the Pope to buy the Catholic Religion to 400 Billion Dollars! This may sound crazy, but we have to remember that scientology is the 3rd largest economy on earth when you combine all the salaries of its members. “They have tremendous power in the world whether we want to believe it or not”- Excommunicated member of scientology.

But what in the world is the Pope thinking? The Pope has officially given his blessing for the sale of Catholicism to the church of scientology after sever meetings with tom cruise. Many people are stunned by this turn of events and its possible ramifications throughout the world.

“I am a man that can be trusted to negotiate with the pope”- some lunatic

We were approached by someone with inside information on what the Catholic Church may be thinking and they decided to give us the inside scoop on the condition of anonymity. “The Pope is a friggin’ genius! Sure he’s signing off on selling “Catholicism”, but what is that at the end of the day but a name. There is a greater good taking place that no one is paying attention to. If scientology buys “Catholicism” for 400 billion dollars that puts them in a financial stranglehold and unable to recover for approximately 20 years.”

“By accepting 400 billion, the amount of good that can be done in proportion to the name of “Catholicism” is immense. So many possibilities. It’s a pure stroke of genius and its reverberations will be a positive influence for millennia to come”.

Sounds like ole mr hubbard will be turning over in his grave when he hears this news!

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