LAX TSA AGENTS SEARCH MORE BOOTIES THAN ANY OTHER AIRPORT

Los Angeles, CA- LAX, Los Angeles International Airport, has the touchiest TSA agents anywhere in America according to a study put on by the National Institute of Studies. TSA agent qualifications have taken a huge drop off since the inception of the agency. The agency was created out of a necessity to make flying safely of paramount importance. Now it seems high school diplomas are of sufficient qualification.

In 3 months you too can be an official hot chick feeler upper and there’s nothing they can do to stop you. At least that’s how these women feel.

“I expect some greasy haired mommas boy to oogle at me and laugh like a cartoon villian right before I go through the body scanner. I can hear the scoffing when my implants show up on screen. I wish I could slap those little bitches!”

Most have given up and realize that if they are going to travel, some grubby agent will feel them up. “It’s an invasion of my privacy”, said one lady. “They never go after the fat chicks”, another woman said.

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“Sloppy beard man can wait to check my fingers for “residue” and my anus for foreign objects.”

These occurrences have flown under the radar because 2020 is the year of shit. Don’t expect it to go on forever. We need to make sure attractive women still travel. We need to make sure if your tits are perky and ass taut, that you feel safe going through security.

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“I mean, What The Fuck?!”

“I’ll protect you in a battle royale and check that thiccness with a quickness”, says lead agent Quinn Lyles.

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Swiggity Swooty I’m coming for that booty
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