September 16, 2021

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Yoga Teacher Accidentally Craps Herself During Hot Yoga. Downward Facing Dog Was Never Supposed To Be Like This!

Santa Barbara, CA- Kelly Arnold (32) has been a Yoga instructor for 8 years. There’s not a whole lot she doesn’t like about bending, twisting and holding. She recently started teaching a hot yoga class. Her hot yoga class reaches temperatures of 100F and above.

The class was going real well as many of the participants had done this style before. Something strange happened to her when the heat and humidity rose. The 5 layer taco bell burritos she had for dinner last night (it was a cheat day) seemed to come loose from the walls of her bowels. Temperatures ever rising, the burritos started separating into solid and liquid pieces.

The flood of shit stirring in her belly told her one thing, she was about to blow! Known for never quitting a class, Kelly clenched her sphincter muscles to hold in the mud pie. There was five minutes left, she could do this! Then came downward facing dog.

“This is probably the best thing to ever happen to me. My chakras are so in line!”

With her butt in the air, a great shit geyser came blasting out her yoga pants hitting everyone within a 15 foot radius. One guy got it right in the eye. Another up his nose. One lady was so appalled she gasped, only to get a mouth full of 5 layer burrito shit. It was chaos.

Embarrassed, Kelly ran out the building to her car and never looked back. 3 days later when she finally checked her messages, she was in for quite the surprise. The gym had contacted her several times, not to chastise her, but to tell her the flood of inquiries they have received of folks wanting to sign up for her classes. “She has the chance to make well over 6 figures a year if she keeps herself booked”, said someone familiar with the story.

Taco Bell is also interested in using Kelly for commercials and a possible in-house Yogi position within the company.

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