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Chick-fil-A CEO, Dan Cathy Party’s With Several Members Of The English Football Club, Manchester United. “Likes To Blow Dudes And Horns”.

July 26, 2021 Bonine 0
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Atlanta, GA- Dan Cathy 68, is not a household name, but his chicken is. Dan is CEO of Chick-fil-A and after returning from a failed trip to England where the Queen denied his request to meet, stories started surfacing of a hotel party where he was at attendance. Cathy and […]

America’s Cutest Cannibal Jessica Marshall Arrested On 7 Charges Of Cannibalism

March 30, 2021 Bonine 0
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Butte, MT- Jessica Marshall (28) of Butte Montana has been arrested on 7 counts of cannibalism. Ms. Marshall is not accused of any killings or crimes other than the eating of humans. Ms. Marshall is a well loved local Butte school teacher and a respected member of the community. Having […]

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Elon Musk Sends Cryotanks Filled With His Sperm Into Space.

March 26, 2021 Bonine 0
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Houston, TX- Elon Musk has launched his sperm into space. Not surprised? Neither are we. The megalomaniac has been using Spacex rockets to scatter these cryotanks all over space and into unknown universes. Apparently Musk has long held to the idea that there is life, intelligent life other than our […]

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Ryan Seacrest And Mario Lopez Come Out Of The Closet By Announcing They’re In A Relationship Together

January 17, 2021 Bonine 0
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Hollywood , CA- After many years of speculation Ryan Seacrest comes out of the closet in spectacular fashion by announcing he is in a relationship with Mario Lopez. Wait Mario Lopez?! You heard right! By Seacrest announcing their relationship, Lopez also came out of the closet. Lopez like Seacrest, was […]

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Gwen Stefani Crumbling Under Blake Shelton’s Ridiculous Plastic Surgery Demands. “He wants a doll”.

November 17, 2020 Bonine 0
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Los Angeles, CA- Word has leaked that Gwen Stefani is not the driving force behind all her new plastic surgeries. You would had to have lived under a rock the last 25 plus years not to know who Gwen is or how beautiful of a woman she has always been. […]

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Christmas is cancelled this year due to Santa’s drug habit that he funded by pimping out his elves.

November 14, 2020 Bonine 0
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North Pole- Kris Kringle A.K.A. “Santa Claus”, was arrested for running a prostitution ring. Kringle had acquired a methamphetamine habit to help keep him awake when delivering presents around the globe. According to North Pole police, Kringle needed a way to fund his ever increasing drug habit. He took volunteers […]

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Georgia Man Gets Butchered Chicken Head Stuck On His Penis When He Attempts An Old Family Tradition

November 8, 2020 Bonine 0
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Blue Ridge, GA- Ernest Cornwebby III (59), is just your everyday kind of fellow. Not know for his smarts or being extraordinary in any way. “Ernie” to the people of Blue Ridge, is dependable and honest. Slow, but steady. “A good man with a heart of gold. Just a little […]

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Teacher Caught Stripping For Students During Private Zoom Sessions

November 3, 2020 Bonine 0
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Phoenix, AZ- Rebecca Miller (26), is the kind of teacher that goes above and beyond to reach her students and help them to achieve their goals. Miller knew this year would be tough, what with all classes be held on Zoom, she was going to have a hard time keeping […]

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Joe Exotic Let’s Slip Location Of Carole Baskin’s Missing Ex-Husband Don Lewis’ Remains On Jailhouse Phone Call

November 1, 2020 Bonine 0
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Federal Medical Center, Fort Worth TX- Joe Exotic is in the headlines again, this time for a slip up on a phone call with his lawyer, Francis Bailey. Exotic, in a rage filled tirade spoke of the location of Baskin’s missing Ex-Husband Don Lewis. He started to tell his lawyer […]

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Alabama Man Arrested Having Relations, AKA “Hide The Eel”, With A Catfish Upriver From Baptism

October 9, 2020 Bonine 0
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Fairhope, AL- Jethro Stumpford (61), was enjoying a mid Sunday morning dip in the lake. Jethro has had a passion for the water ever since he found a fondness for catfish. Yes, the fish. According to court records the Stumpford family is “closer” than many others and intelligence is not […]

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