Emotional Support

Ojai, CA- Late last night a S.W.A.T. team raided an underground brothel that catered to those who enjoy sleeping with the dead. Right on highway 33, this brothel blended in with the rest of the businesses on that stretch of road. During the day it was an abandoned building, but […]

Liberty Jones is suing a man because his prosthetic penis fell off during sexual intercourse in a parked car. Liberty claims the penis got stuck inside her cavernous vagina making it impossible for her to do business with any other men. She thought something was suspicious about his penis, “I’ve […]

New York, NY- Arthur Manner (57) is just your average New York bank manager. It sounds more exciting than it is, he manages a chase branch. Nothing fancy. Good guy and liked by all. He and his wife Jenny have been married 35yrs. Two adult children and a dog complete […]

Lester Ottoblock is not your average mortician. This dude really enjoys his work. Not too unusual. But he loves to bang your loved ones. Don’t worry it’s a service his workplace offers. Lester will pay you $100 to go to pound town on your loved one’s if you like. Many […]

Las Vegas- Paula Abdul received a call about doing a residency in Vegas. Her phone hadn’t rang in a long time so the chance to impress for a residency in Vegas seemed amazing! She flew out to the desert that night. The next morning she went to the MGM where […]

Atlanta, GA- The American classic, Coca-Cola is changing its name to “Coco-Cola”. The name change stems from backlash over its cocaine beginnings. When the cola was just starting out it was infused with actual cocaine. That was so long ago that many had forgotten and even if remembered it was […]

San Antonio, TX- Brad Currows visits his mother everyday in the hospital where she has been in a coma since December 2019. Brad’s mother, Cindy Currows fell into a coma after an infection spread throughout her body. The infection has abated but she still has not waken from her slumber. […]

Houston, TX- Meghan Miller (41), was arrested after her husband showed up at a local hospital with his butthole sewed shut. Travis Miller (44), wasn’t initially forthcoming when asked how he his butt got sewed up. When Mrs. Miller showed up, it was obvious to hospital staff that something had […]

Butte, MT- Linda Meyers (72), woke in the middle of the night to sounds of an intruder. She rolled to the side of her bed and picked up her little league t-ball bat. This isn’t a major league bat, but it will still do a great deal of damage. After […]

Anaconda, MT- Felix Clemmings passed away at the age of 78 in his sleep. Felix had a large and gregarious family. Due to the small selection of companions, some of the younger generations have chosen to co-mingle with one-another. Specifically Ben and Lilly Clemmings. Clemmings’ funeral was a grand affair, […]