Blacked Out Drunk College Student Nearly Dies After ‘Accidentally’ Making Love To A Beehive


Tempe, AZ- Kurt Sizemore (22), was raced to the hospital after passersby saw him convulsing naked on the ground next to a beehive full of angry bees. Kurt was so heavily intoxicated that the EMT’s had an extremely difficult time initially deducing what had actually happened to him.

What was obvious, was that for reasons unknown at the time, a naked Kurt had inserted his penis into the beehive that was now laying on the ground. His hands and penis bared the marks of scores of bee stings. “He must of positioned it in front of himself and used it as a masturbatory device. What we can’t figure out without speaking to him directly is ‘Why?'”, said one of the EMTs.

Several hours later Kurt came to at the hospital. He had no recollection of what had really happened. His story was that he had a “few” with the boys and then went back to his dorm to enjoy his new sex toy that had arrived in the mail earlier that day. What medical professionals concluded after getting his blood alcohol results back (.32 BAC, well above the legal limit), was that Kurt Sizemore must have blacked out from the sheer amount of alcohol he consumed. “In a blacked out state, he would have confused his surroundings, thinking he was home he proceeded to strip down and fornicate with a beehive, a beehive he thought was his new sex toy.”, said Dr. Branford.

Fast forward one week and Kurt is safe and well back at his dorm. All the guys in his fraternity are now calling him “Honey”

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.