College Student Arrested After Getting Pregnant By A Cadaver

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Melanie Goodhue (20) of Fresno California was attending UCSB (the University of California Santa Barbara) when she was arrested for desecration of a corpse and improper sexual contact on school property. Melanie was thinking about a career in the medical field as a nurse or doctor, so she had signed up for an anatomy class where she would get some hands on experience working with dead bodies.

A happy go lucky girl, Melanie made friends wherever she went and was popular around campus. She was not known to be dating anyone, therefore when word got out around school that she was pregnant the rumor mill started buzzing. She kept mum on who the father might be.

One night the school maintenance man was walking the halls on his way to check on the cadaver refrigerator system and make sure that all the temperatures were accurate. There had been some misreadings the past week that caused the loss of a body due to high temperatures. When he opened a door to the cadaver room he was in for the shock of his life.

“I have seen students get attached to our cadavers before, but never have they become physically involved with a body. For scientific reasons I would have like to have been witness to her bringing a dead man to a full throbbing erection”, Dr. Albrite UCSB.

“I saw a young woman straddling a man on a gurney and she was riding him like a bull. She must have orgasmed because she started shaking and screaming. Then she saw me and quickly dismounted what turned out to be a dead body and not a live man. She took off and there was this dead guy with a massive boner still on the gurney”, said Ron Shepard a UCSB maintenance man.

Ron went through photos of students who had access to the cadaver room and picked out Melanie Goodhue. Melanie was brought in by campus police for questioning. She admitted to having sex with some of the men and women stored on campus. She claimed she didn’t think to use a condom and was unaware that a dead man could indeed impregnate her. When asked how the bodies got an erection she flatly said, “An electrical charge sent through the sphincter will cause the penis to become erect. When it starts to go soft another charge would be sent”.

Dr. Albrite surmised that, “The electro stimulation of the sphincter must have also caused the postmortem ejaculation that resulted in Melanie’s pregnancy”. Melanie went on to say that one of the dead men must be the father of her child as she has had no relations with living men. DNA tests were done and the father was located. Due to the privacy of the victims family, the name of the dead sperm donor will not be revealed. She was hauled off to jail after freely admitting to her guilt. She faces up to 22 years in prison if convicted.

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