Woman Dies Of Internal Injuries Caused By A Massive Gorilla Boner.

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Linda Blevins (48) of Phoenix, AZ was tragically killed at the Phoenix International Zoo when Clyde, one of the male gorilla’s mistook her for his wife Lessa. Linda had been at the zoo to get some rays and to enjoy the new Koala exhibit. While smoking 5 or 6 Virginia Slims by the gorilla exhibit, Clyde caught a glimpse of her and became visibly aroused by her well worn skin.

People started gathering around Clyde as he played with his new found toy. He never took his gaze off of Linda’s leathery complexion. Linda came to see what all the fuss was about. The closer she got the more excited Clyde would get. When Linda got to the railing of the gorilla exhibit, she saw Clyde playing with his dong and decided to fish her phone out of her purse to take some pictures of the event.

Linda is famous for being a meme

When she looked down into her purse, Clyde made a run for her. He grabbed her and took her to his favorite spot and started making love to her. All was well until his massive boner penetrated her internal organs and finally made its way through her intestines and out her abdomen. She died of blood loss not long after.

When zoo keepers spoke with Clyde about the incident, he responded in sign language by saying, “I thought she was my wife Lessa. I mean look how rough and worn her leather skin was. She’s a dead ringer for Lessa. No pun intended. I’m a gorilla wtf do I know?!”.

Because a warning sign was in place and Linda was beyond it at time of Clyde snatching her, no official charges will be pressed on Clyde. He has since moved on with his life. Lessa left him after the affair.

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