Fairhope, AL- Kevin Hoosier (30), has passed away from injuries sustained at the hands of an unknown number of sheep. Kevin had been a sheep farmer all his life. The family sheep farm goes back 5 generations. Some say there is sheep blood running through the Hoosier family veins. Unlike most of his family members, Kevin fornicated with the sheep from the time he could get a boner.
“We’ve seen Kevin fuck the sheep so many times that we kind of just look the other way”, said Kevin’s brother Larry. “I joined him a time or two, but I prefer women. Kevin really wore them sheep thin with his sexual appetite”.
According to local police the sheep turned on him mid coitus. The sheep seemingly conspiring with each other, attacked him from all directions. One sheep fucked him in the ass for 3hrs according to police reports. “It was a gotdamn bloody mess. Them there sheep fucked him up real good”, one deputy said. With an almost unrecognizable body, it seems the sheep exacted a long await plan to exact revenge on Kevin.
In lieu of flowers the family is asking for donations to be made to aid researchers in the sheep sex addiction field.