Siblings and Sex Partners, Murder And Cannibalize Their Entire Family

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Ranchester, Wyoming- Brother and sister, Ted and Amanda Matthews have been arrested on multiple charges of some seriously shocking crimes. The Matthews family has always kept to themselves with only the most dire of emergencies bringing anyone of them into town. So it was no surprise to most that their heinous crimes had gone on for many years before anyone was privy to their brutality.

Caroline Matthews is the mother of Ted and Amanda. She is also their sister as she is the product of her husband/father Otis and her mother Lydia whom passed away many years ago from cancer. Sounds complicating right? Well that’s just the beginning. Ted and Amanda being the only children of their mother and not having the benefit of public education or regular social interaction with others, began having children of their own. Some between the two of them and other children were the product of their elder sister/mother and father. Needless to say it became one sick mess!

Incest is bad enough, but one winter when access to roads where snowed in and the Matthews were unable to gather supplies to make it through the long winter, their father Otis became ill from lack of proper nutrition and eventually passed away in his easy chair. When Ted went to bury his father he got the idea to turn the grave to a smoke pit and cooked his father so the rest of his family could have some food to help make it through these tough times.

Caroline was the next to go. She was upset about how Otis was disposed of and was threatening to turn them in to the authorities. The siblings took care of her by letting her freeze to death in the snow, which worked out well as it preserved her body.

No one knew the horrible secrets that were hidden in this beautiful piece of country.

Otis fed them for a week. And Caroline lasted a week as well. At this time there are 8 Matthews family members left, Ted, Amanda and six children whom will remain anonymous due to their ages. And winter raged on.

At this point Ted and Amanda lost all touch with reality and with food running out their most terrible plot lay ahead when the children were slaughtered for the benefit of Ted and Amanda. The strange thing is throughout all of this debauchery they would never turn on each other. Their love was deep and twisted, but it was true.

Their closest neighbor was Gilroy Townshend and he knew that the Matthews kept to themselves but he also knew that it was a long and cold winter. When the snow melted enough to safely travel Gilroy went to check on the Matthews to make sure everyone was ok. What Gilroy experienced next would forever change him. “I saw piles of bones which isn’t unusual as many people hunt for food out here, but once I saw a small human skull I got the f*ck out of there and called local authorities”.

When police arrived they found they surviving siblings arguing about something in a language police were not familiar with. They were quickly arrested and sent to a locked down mental facility to undergo treatment to make them capable of going to trial. “No one wants to see an insanity defense here. These son of bitches deserve to fry!”, said a local resident.

“We are horrified at the actions and depravity displayed by the two surviving members of the Matthews family. Justice will be served”- F.B.I. spokesperson.

The case was too big for local, county or state officials and the F.B.I. were brought in to handle the processing of the property and handle the investigation as to what really happened at the Matthews home. The investigation is going to be given top priority to ensue that the punishments will be swift and severe. Please check back here at for updates as new information becomes available.

12 Comments

  1. Some people.just don’t have feeling..and can do things that we can’t.understand.Of course.they are crazy…but of course they should die….now they might do it for fun…they are worse than animals….

    • It says it’s a satire website. This isn’t true. I live less than 15 miles away in the same county. If there was any sort of truth to this I would’ve heard about it in our local news.

  2. I live in Ranchester you dumb assholes. This story is crap, your satirical site is bullshit. Come up with real journalism you fkng trolls!!!

  3. Bullshit! It’s not in our local media and My family lives in Ranchester and the Sheriff is a friend of mine….I call Bullshit!!!

  4. It’s about as real as the man selling dehydrated water, by the way how can you tell when it’s rehydrated?

  5. Hahahaha, I got all excited to be a former Ranchester resident. Saw it was untrue and excitement deflated. I love these kind of stories. Knowing they’re not true, is a happy ending.

  6. First of all I want to say fantastic blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your head before writing.

    I’ve had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out.
    I truly do enjoy writing however it just seems
    like the first 10 to 15 minutes are lost simply just trying
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    Many thanks!

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