October 15, 2021

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Baseball Legend Ted Williams’ Cryogenically Frozen Head Has Disappeared From Scottsdale Cryonics Facility. Reward Offered For Its Safe Return.

Scottsdale, AZ- In what can only be described as a disaster, Ted Williams Frozen head has gone missing. His head was famously frozen in 2002 in hopes that advancements in medicine would be able to relieve him of his maladies. The ultimate goal is to reanimate Ted to a state of life the same as yours and mine.

All of Ted’s plans go out the window if the head is not returned before the thawing begins. “Once a body or head begins to thaw, the reanimation process need to take place at that very moment. If the thawing begins without reanimation procedures, the head will become useless”, said a doctor who would only speak to us under the condition of anonymity.

Cryogenic chambers filled frozen bodies hoping for successful reanimation.

A one million dollar reward for the safe return of Ted’s head is being offered by the family of Walt Disney who is famously also cryogenically frozen. Disney is slated for the reanimation process in December.

Rumors abound as to the name of person or persons responsible for the missing head. Some conspiracy theorists believe this is the work of Pete Rose who is famously banned from the MLB hall of fame. Others believe this is a lasting ramification of “The Curse Of The Great Bambino”. Whatever the case may be, its swift return is of paramount importance.

If you or anyone you know has information leading to the safe return of Ted Williams head, please contact your local authorities or ringsssss.com and we can share the reward.

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