September 16, 2021

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English Man Claims Americans Are Too Loud. Gets In Fight At Texas Bar Over What Real Football Is.

Beaumont, TX- Arthur Williamson (34) of Manchester England stopped in Beaumont while on holiday traveling across the U.S. Not one to turn down a drink, Arthur stopped at a local bar to throw back a couple pints and chat up the locals.

Instantly Arthur thought “these cunts are really loud”. When he ordered a beer, a couple dudes starting making fun of his accent. Patiently he waited for them to shut up and move on. Finally someone brought up football and they transitioned to reliving the glory days of their high school football careers (basically a couple Al Bundy’s). One of them said, “I bet this guy couldn’t catch a ball if his life depended on it”, the other said, “ya, he plays footie football!!”.

Unbeknownst to the two men, Arthur was on the national Rugby team for 8 years and knows a thing or two about being a bad ass. Unable to take it anymore, he spoke up “listen cunts, I do think footie is football. I’m sure you think yourself more manly. Look at my thighs, they are like fucking tree trunks. You know why? Im going to tell you why. I played 8 years of rugby. It’s like “American football” but with no helmets and pads. Meaning your footie is just dudes in padded costumes playing a slow ass sissy game”.

“I saw Arthur break out a can of whoop ass. If you see him, tell him he can have a piece of my ass anytime”

Stunned the two men reverted to calling him a snowflake for not being able to take a joke. Arthur knew these men came from family trees with limited branches, but he didn’t care, he stood up and began to kick their asses. Strangely the other patrons began to cheer his ass kicking on the two men. Apparently they have been tormenting the town for years and needed a whooping.

Arthur was arrested but later released after an outcry from townsfolk. Seems the Beaumont residents were so happy with what he did, that they protested to have the charges dropped. Arthur left town with much fanfare and was invited back anytime he chose. Arthur won’t be coming back.

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