Florida Man Caught Pleasing Himself With A Grapefruit At An Orlando YMCA


Orlando, FL- James Litchenson was caught by the janitor at the local YMCA with a grapefruit on his schlong. The janitor, who wishes to remain anonymous, said “I was just following a trail of this mess on the ground with my mop and when I got to the end I saw this pendejo f*cking a grapefruit while watching elderly women exercise in the therapy pool”.

The Authorities were called to investigate this sticky situation and arrested Lictchenson without any resistance. In his defense he claimed that the fruit never said no and he didn’t think he was hurting anyone.

“Fortunately no one but the janitor bore witness to this disgusting act of self-fornication. And this is the sickest part, but grocery stores are starting to run out of grapefruits, so we expect to be receiving more calls of this nature in the near future”, says police Captain Max Xanadu

Lictchenson is being released on bond pending his trail. He is to wear and ankle monitor that measures the citrus level in his body. If he reoffends a warrant will be issued for his arrest.

1 Comment

  1. Well at least it was a Grapefruit the larger Citrus, could of been a tiny Lemon 🍋
    Or even a Kumquat, think if it would of been a Banana that wouldnt of been appealing at all either! Does the officers once these sick people are in custody ask them if they like some FRUIT PUNCH to drink!

    This one I would have to defer to a bit of Stainless Steel Cleaner and a Ciggarette Lighter to assist the indivual in removing the offending member from the front of his body. You do that at my grand mother in the pool, let’s just say, you will PRAY FOR SATAN to come rescue you.
    Peeping on the the Young and Old are UNFURGIVABE PERIOD.

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