October 15, 2021

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Funeral Home Employee Gets Caught With His Pants Down. Suspected Of 37 Acts Of Necrophilia

Bakersfield, California- Phil Keller aged 33, is under suspicion of at least 37 acts of necrophilia after his manager caught him having intercourse with a prostitute he should have been pumping full of embalming fluid, not his penis.

“I can’t believe the son of a bitch. The shit he was doing is beyond all imagination. He always kept to himself, never showed up late, stayed late and did fantastic work. Now I’m thinking he wanted to stay late to have time alone with the bodies”, Bill Tennerson- Funeral home owner.

“Business has been real slow and it’s not like people aren’t dying”- Tennerson

Phil Keller agreed to speak with and had this to say, “Listen man I know it sounds sick and a lot of people are probably not happy with me right now. I would like to say that I always practiced safe sex with each body. Live women just don’t seem to be interested in me so I have to get my penile release from somewhere. They never complained and other than being a little cold, which grew on me, it was satisfying for me. Honestly my only regret is getting caught”.

Keller obviously suffers from some sort of delusions and will hopefully get the punishment and treatment he needs.

Stay tuned to for updates

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