Houston, TX- Larry Randolph was sick and tired of losing the annual chili cook off in his hometown of Houston. “My chili is just as good, if not better than anyone else’s, yet i feel the judges are holding a grudge against me and I don’t know why”, say Randolph.
Randolph aimed to fix this problem for the 2022 chili cook off. The night before the contest with all the contestants chili pots simmering, Randolph opened 250 laxative capsules into his simmering in chili pot, Randolph. I wasn’t gonna let these mother fuckers cheat me out of the blue ribbon again. Middle of the night i took my heavy duty turkey baster and sucked up as much of my “runny chili” as I could and I went to each of the other contestant simmering pots and then added my secret ingredient.
The next day when the judges were starving. (They tend to skip all meals that day until it is time for the judging) Somewhere around the 5th bowl of chili, the judges started getting sick one by one. First it was gas and burps followed later on by turds and diarrhea of their own.
Everyone was flabbergasted at what was going on. Suddenly the rest of the spectators got sick as well. Everyone who had eaten chili that day was blasting shit from their asses. All that is except Larry Randolph.
Larry sat back and enjoy the festivities. “At that point, I didn’t care about winning any stinking blue ribbon. When I looked up on stage and saw shit running down their legs, I knew I had already won”.