Montclair, NJ-Carla Marshall has been arrested following reports of her popping pimples on unsuspecting high school students. “She showed up late to class and was talking 100 miles an hour and she looked crazy!”, one student said. Carla helps grade papers and answer questions students may have to help lighten the load for Ms. Mary Stewart the school’s algebra teacher. Ms. Stewart was running late and Carla would keep the class in control until she arrived.
Well that’s usually what happened when the Ms. Stewart was late, but today would be different. Out of nowhere Carla pulls hair clippers out of her bag and starts to shave her head. The class looked on in disbelief. When she noticed she was being watched she yelled, “Do you see them too? Do you?”. ‘WTF was she taking about?’, the students wondered. “She started accusing us of spying on her for the shadow people. I never heard such rubbish in my life”– student.
“I’ll stop all of you from spying on me with my venom poppers!” and with that she started running around the room squeezing her pimples so they would pop on the students. “It was fucking nasty. I saw one girl get hit in the eye with a black head, she may never see out of that eye again”– student.
Thankfully half the football team had that particular class and several of them tackled Carla to the ground subduing her while their classmates summoned the school police officer. “Ms. Marshall was said to be experiencing some strange symptom’s so I proceeded with caution to the classroom. I found her in the custody of some students and I cuffed her without incident. Turns out she had been on a meth binge and had not slept for 2 weeks. She will no longer work here and we hope she gets the help she needs”, Officer Dozer.