December 6, 2021

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Roses Are Red. Violets Are Blue. Better Watch Out For The Gasassassin Or Her Ass Will Be Coming For You!! 1 Dead 3 Wounded

Linda Wiles has been dubbed the Gasassassin after dropping a silent but deadly (SBD) fart this past Sunday in church. She had just loaded up on her favorite candy before attending service that day. Linda is a devout a lady as you’re going to find in Butte Montana. So it was rather sad when she interrupted services that fateful day.

All the candy she had earlier started to boil over and bubble inside her guts. The pressure was building as the pastor was getting everyone pumped up. She was either going to shit or fart and the time was now! She lifted up the right side of her ass and let out a slow warm and fulfilling fart.

“We take all crime here seriously in Butte” Detective Fiddes

It was obvious fairly soon that this fart was a lingerer and it stunk to holy hell. An elderly lady and her 3 friends were sitting in the same row as Linda all four of them had terrible reactions to the fart. They fell down when they inhaled the oxygen deprived atmosphere that was created in Linda’s guts. 3 of the ladies fell back down in their seats and were ok after, but in need of fresh oxygen. But not the lady closest to her. Elenor Mayfield (83) hit her head and would not recover from injuries sustained after Linda busted ass.

Linda voluntarily went down to the police station where she was informed she would be put under arrest for involuntary manslaughter and 3 acts of assault with a deadly weapon. The Gasassassin faces a minimum of 10 years in prison with the possibility of 20 more depending on how the jury views the incident. In a twist of irony, her cell in county is now know as the gas chamber.

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