December 6, 2021

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Golden Corral Bans Man For Life After Eating Too Much Food.

Cicero, IL- Glen Furlong (28), has officially been banned by Golden Corral. He is no longer welcome in any of their establishments. You have to be pretty special to get kicked out of a place that offers all you can eat meals. Glen is that guy.

To save on money Glen enjoys going to buffets and eating his fill. Only problem is that “his fill” is an enormous amount of food. Still, he has skirted the lines of morality when it comes to chowing down in a buffet setting. For years he has been known in the greater Chicago area as a veritable plight to all you can eat restaurants.

He always stays within the law and follows guidelines that he has researched prior to eating at any establishment to maximize his money. Weighing in at 535lbs., it takes quite a bit of food to keep Glen at his average weight. Then came the fateful day.

It was a Saturday night when Glen showed up to a Cicero Golden Corral. Employees knew they were in for a long night when he waddled in. He sat down at his normal booth and started sucking down Dr. Pepper at a break neck pace. Within an hours all the ribs in the place were gone. All the macaroni in 2. Already other patrons began complaining about the lack of availability of some of their favorites.

Glen didn’t leave much behind.

It’s not unusual for Glen to eat all of a dish or two during a feeding. But on this particular Saturday night Glen threw caution to the wind and wiped out 11 different dishes. Prime rib? Gone. Mash potatoes? Gone. What really drew the ire of the other customers was when Glen dried up the soft-serve machine. Gone was the sweet dessert along with all the sprinkles and chocolate syrup that everyone enjoys before leaving.

That was the final straw. All the other fatties in the restaurant complained to management. “It was a heard of oversized Karen’s”, one witness said. Furlong was asked to leave as he was not only costing them money, but also the alienation of scores of dissatisfied patrons. The loss of money on that night was a record for any Golden Corral ever.

He was asked to leave. He refused. Police were called and he was removed by force. 12 officers and 155ft of rope were needed to remove him. Board members from Golden Corral voted to ban him for life and have sent pictures of Glen to all their eateries to warn them.

Glen is considering a civil lawsuit, but wants to finish pooping first. Stay tuned for further developments.

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