October 15, 2021

Ringsssss

Voted Best Satire Site On The Planet 3 Times

This Granny’s Dating Profile Will Have You In Tears 😂 😂

Butte, MT – Lyanna Wentmore (78), is hitting the dating scene running after encouragement from her children to “get out there and enjoy yourself”. Lyanna has been single since her husband, Earl Bob passed away over 10 years ago.

No one helped her in writing her dating profile. Lyanna said, “if i’m gonna be making this here dating doohickey, i’m gonna do it on my own”. We were able to get a transcript of her profile;

“My name is Lyanna. I don’t put out on the first date. My cats are my life. Watch out for that second date though, I like to role play. I’m into firearms and explosives! Go ‘Murica! I’m not looking for anything real serious as I like to keep my options open. Options aren’t the only thing I like to keep open. Only on the SECOND date will I put out!!

“This is me back in April getting released from prison. Some people don’t like to wait until the second date. My AK can wait.”

“I’m looking for a man or woman (I swing both ways), to enjoy each others company with. If we make it to the 2nd date, the sex must be done often. Sometimes my cats like to watch. If you try and get fresh on the first date, the cats will go after you. Remember I’m a lady. My AK-47 stays with me at all times and so does my pouch of tobacco. I prefer men with LARGE members as i’m kinda shot out down below, but I have a plethora of toys to enjoy if you don’t measure up.”

Best of luck to whomever matches up with Lyanna. And if you make it to the second date, we would love to hear from you!

blank
“Come get ya some”
0 Shares