Trump To Donate Lysol, Hand Sanitizer and Other Disinfectants To White House Staffers. But What About Us?

Washington, D.C. – President Trump, in a rare moment of charity has decided to supply his White House staffers with lysol and other disinfectants so they may be ready in the case that they acquire COVID-19.

“We have a big big responsibility to keep those close around us healthy. So I decided alone, that we should supply our staffers with disinfectants to use as prevention and as treatment should they contract COVID-19.” – Trump.

When asked about the general population and helping to make sure we can at least find these products on our shelves so we may purchase them and be afforded the same safety as those around him he said, “We live in the best country in the world and I’m sure the manufacturers of these products are doing all they can to get their product on the shelves and it is my position as President that I do not get involved with how corporations conduct their business”. “We even came up with the right combination of Lysol vs Hand Sanitizer should COVID-19 be acquired and an injection is needed.”

“This guy (Trump) is a complete fucking lunatic, excuse my language but how could any other conclusion be made?” – Head of the CDC Jerald Chrisman

While this may come off as an act of charity it is pretty obvious that these measures have been taking to protect Trump’s own interests. Another media ploy to satisfy his constituents and pretend like something is being done.

According to Jerald Chrisman head of the CDC, “This is really a big deal and people should be staying home. This is not some conspiracy to stop Americans from pursuing their dreams. This is merely a precaution so we all may be alive to pursue our dreams!”

Another day in the life… From all of us at, all joking and satire aside. We wish you safety and health! Thank you for taking the time to read our story.


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