Ventura, CA- Jessica Valentine (28), wanted to surprise her boyfriend Billy with a new bowling ball for his birthday. Money is already tight due to the unexpected nature of 2020, so Jesica had to get creative.
Jessica didn’t attend the school of “Hard Knocks” for nothing. Inspired by a woman who had stolen an iPhone 11 from Best Buy hiding it in her vagina, Valentine thought she could do the same with a bowling ball for her man. She could cram it up there and at worst look like she’s pregnant she thought.
Unfortunately for her her boyfriend is 6’9″ and uses quite a large ball. A 22lb. ball to be exact. “Getting it up there was no problem. Keeping it up there was not a problem at first”, according to Valentine. The problem came when her jeans busted open under the pressure of this new addition. Usually Jessica wear some kind of yoga pants, though it is likely she has never exercised before.
When the jeans burst open Jessica Valentine got nervous and started laughing like she does during embarrassing moments. Well one embarrassed laugh too many got that 22lb. ball to drop like it was NYE in Times Square. Slick and slimy was this ball. Slick and smooth Jessica was not.
She spent the weekend in jail and will be serving 200hrs. community service for her crime. The ball in question is now on eBay with 3 bids currently sitting at $2.13.