Florida Man Arrested For Hanging From A Traffic Light And Pooping On Cars

Tallahassee, FL- Janos Slynt aged 47 was caught in his trailer park hours after running away from an intersection where he had just shat on half a dozens cars. A trail of shite led from the left turn lane to his locale. Slynt was caught brown handed walking back to his trailer from the scene of the crime. He tried to hide, but the smell gave him away.

A quick footed officer also noted the shape and size of the corn from the crime scene was consistent with the corn found attatched to Slynt’s butt hairs.

He went big and will not be going home.

Janos claims he was seeking retribution for all the assholes whom he comes into contact with as a Walmart greeter. “People shit on me all day. I decided it was time to fight back”. Slynt is being held on $50,000 bond while awaiting trail. He is being housed alone as he is a “shit flinging threat”.

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