October 15, 2021

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Man Arrested After 2 Sheep Die As A Result Of Injuries Sustained While Having Sex With Him.

Lewistown, MT- Clay Maurrs (29), has been arrested after 2 of his sheep died as a result of Clay having vigorous intercourse with them. Clay called the vet to come out and check on the sheep. But by the time he got there the sheep had passed away. The vet went to collect the sheep and whilst loading them onto his flatbed he noticed some kind of lubricant on both their anuses. A quick smell and taste test revealed it to be astroglide, a personal lubricant often used during private moments between humans.

But sheep and astroglide raise questions, so the local authorities were called in. A court ordered exam of Mr. Maurrs’ wiener was done as were swabs of the sheep’s buttholes. Maurrs had astroglide and sheep feces still on his wiener. The sheep were both full of Clay’s semen.

Charges from the heinous crimes include; beastiality, animal abuse and assault with a deadly weapon. Sadly this is not the first such case reported in Lewistown. There have been reports of sheep and goats used as sex objects that date back to the early 1950’s. Town officials admit there is really not much to do in Lewistown.

Clay is strangely looking forward to prison where he hopes to find a boyfriend.

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