September 16, 2021

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Man Puts Methamphetamines In Town’s Water Supply

Jed McBride is a 50 year old trailer park manager in the city of Beaumont Texas. He’s known around town for his bathtub crank. Beaumont Sheriff Bricoe Delmund has had it out for McBride ever since Jed slept with his sister back in high school.

Jed was tired of the sheriff shutting down his meth labs time and time again, so Jed put 5 kilos of meth into the towns water supply as a way to hook the whole town on drugs and as a fuck you to Delmund.

As Beaumontians awoke the next morning to make their coffee, people seemed to perk up a little more than usual. Showers more refreshing and drinking fountains pleasing with a tingling in the heinie. Soon the whole town was slurping down water at an alarming rate. By noon the town’s water supply had run dry.

“I’m Bricoe Delmund and you’re under arrest”

Video surveillance from the night before showed old Jed McBride dropping them kilos in the water supply and the Sheriff couldn’t of been more pleased to have some solid evidence on Jed that would put him away for a long time.

Jed is now locked up and is in constant communication with Joe Exotic. Turns out they have a lot in common. Last laugh is on the Sheriff as the town still has no water and eleventeen people have already died of Meth related complications.

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