January 15, 2022

Ringsssss

Voted Best Satire Site On The Planet 3 Times

Man Uses Head To Knock Over 3 Stonehenge Pillars. He Now Faces Up To 590 Years In An English Prison

0 Shares

Matimo (Matt) Mishani (28) of New York City, is in an English jail awaiting his trial for knocking over 3 Stonehenge pillars. Matt went to England over the holidays to do some sightseeing. Stonehenge had always been on his bucket list and this was finally the opportunity to see it for himself. Traveling alone, a lot of his movements are unaccounted for.

Upon arrival in Wiltshire, England, Matt rented a room from a farmer close to the Stonehenge site. He was one of the first people to check it out the next day. As the tour was being conducted, for seemingly no reason at all, Matt got down in a football stance and ran headfirst into a giant pillar. It budged. Shocked at his behavior, many other tourists began to back away fearing some sort of terrorist attack.

“Me and the old lady were on vacation checking out them big ol rocks there and all of the sudden this guy knocks over three of em. We could use a defensive tackle like him on the cowboys! It was quite a site for this country boy”, Larry Manhiem eye witness.

Seeing the pillar budge lit a new fire under Matt and he barreled into 3 more pillars knocking them all down before crushing his skull in on the final one rendering himself unconscious. “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing”, a witness said. “In between ramming the stones you could tell his head was being damaged. We hoped the force of the blows would slow him down and it finally did”.

When he woke from his slumber, Matt was in jail infirmary recovering from injuries sustained in the debacle. This is the first time a stone has ever been knocked down due to vandalism and the English are ready to throw the book at him. He faces up to 590 in jail for his crimes. Matt offered no plausible explanation for his behavior, “I don’t know man. It was just the angle of the rocks, I couldn’t help myself”.

Stayed tuned to ringsssss.com for more on this story.

0 Shares