Helena, MT- Helena Regional Airport was the site of some commotion today when a large man was caught trying to smuggle 45 MAGA hats in his anus onto a airplane. Peter Peters was stopped by TSA when the body scanner showed the hats in his ass. TSA agents asked Peter […]
Houston, Texas- Lucy Benson (81), has been arrested on 43 charges of first degree murder. The suspect has been linked to at least 15 different retirement homes where suspicious deaths have occurred. Benson would befriend men whom had no heirs to leave money. She would gain their trust and build […]
Washington D.C. – President Biden made waves today when word leaked on his next project to build back better. He wants the name of the White House changed to something more ethnically inclusive. “Having the home of the most powerful man in the free world called the “White” house is […]
Hollywood, CA- The band Metallica has filed a civil lawsuit in an LA county courthouse today claiming the show Stranger Things and the executives behind the scenes used their music without permission and are seeking compensation for damages incurred. The character Eddie Munson (portrayed by Joseph Quinn) plays an epic […]
Saudi Arabia- Prince Nassir Limon Arafatee had the privilege of meeting the former president’s daughter during her good will tour of the Middle East. Arafatee wanted to please and impress his guest as she was the daughter of such a powerful man. Arafatee remembered that her father likes to grab […]
R. Kelly (Robert Sylvester Kelly) was faced with the prospect of decades in prison when jumped off the Orange County Court House today. He was supposed to be guarded at all times, but was able to sneak away during a shift change and reached the top of the 50 story […]
Hollywood California- In what can only be described as a shocking turn of events, Celine Dion has announced to the world that they are now an Alien after transitioning from a female human to a superior intergalactic species. Dion has openly spoken in the past about their disdain for humans […]
Los Angeles, CA- Prostitute Kylie Porter (25), was sitting in the Los Angeles county jail on solicitation of prostitution charges this past weekend when she reached out to reporters in regards to the President’s son, Hunter Biden. Ms. Porter, who was recently diagnosed with AIDS, had an ongoing affair with […]
Chuck Simons of Miami Florida has made a shocking confession to police. Simons claims that he was abducted by Aliens and had spent over one month aboard a spaceship. While in the custody of the Extraterrestrials, Simons says that he was probed Anally for 37 straight days. “They would stick […]
Clint Eastwood (92), was rushed to a local Carmel Hospital earlier today after the deadly Ligma virus took control of his vital organs. The storied actor, director and champion for the common man, was feeling fine just days prior. A spokesman for the Actor had this to say to media […]
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