Phoenix, AZ- Randy Simons (33) AKA “Peter Cummings”, is clinging to life at a local Phoenix hospital after a vicious beating at the hands of a biker gang. Randy mistakenly showed up to the house of an active member of the biker gang, “Hermanos Locos”. Randy Simons moonlights as a […]
Los Angeles, CA- Richard Malone (41), is comatose in the CCU (Critical Care Unit) at UCLA Medical Center. He has been in a coma for close to two weeks after his penis reduction surgery went horribly wrong. Richard is a life long Angelinò and has many friends and relatives in […]
Fillmore California – Brandy Williams has been taken to Ventura County jail after an altercation involving two Jehovah’s Witnesses. Ms. Williams was seen running naked after two young men on bicycles who were going door to door to spread the message of Christ in her neighborhood. “Ms. Williams thought it […]
Alice McEleny (44) of Bakersfield California, has been put into solitary confinement in a secure federal maximum security prison under the tightest security. Because of the heinousness of her crimes, her current location will not be disclosed to the public for fear of retaliation. Alice, who was born Alex McElney, […]
Sacremento, CA- Word from the Governor’s office has leaked out that starting on Monday, Governor Gavin Newsom will sign into effect a bill that will hasten the process for anyone named Brandon who wants to change their name. Along with a speedier process for those afflicted with the name, Newsom […]
Luke and Carole Offenhiem were on their 20th wedding anniversary when the most terrible thing happened. While vacationing in Honolulu, the couple decided to rent a small boat and go exploring. About an hour into the trip the two stopped somewhere in the pacific to have sandwiches. About to head […]
Sacremento, CA- California Governor Gavin Newsom won’t soon forget opening an email sent by Florida Governor Rick DeSantis. The subject of the email; “Big things are coming”. There was an attached file and when Newsom opened it, a large, fully erect penis with ejaculate dripping off the tip, was displayed […]
Larry Jones (43), succumbed to injuries sustained in a car accident this past July. Larry lived on his own and kept good relationships with his loving family. When Larry was put on life support following the accident, the real possibility of his passing had hit his family. During a search […]
Santander Olivier (33) of Miami Florida has had enough “Sorry you’re not what we’re looking for” responses from potential employers to give anyone doubts about their ability to find work and thrive in today’s society. Santander believes that ever since he has transitioned and became an alien, people have used […]
Helena, MT- Helena Regional Airport was the site of some commotion today when a large man was caught trying to smuggle 45 MAGA hats in his anus onto a airplane. Peter Peters was stopped by TSA when the body scanner showed the hats in his ass. TSA agents asked Peter […]
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