Washington, DC- Bernie Sanders has had enough and he wants to settle the score once and for all with Donald Trump. Sanders believes Trump’s supporters enjoy many manly and masculine things; “Big trucks, oil, football, guns, BBQ, an odd fascination with deer and the like. So I figure comparing my […]
America, USA- The hate group, The KKK, have released the results of their year end review to their hate group members. Twitter was voted social media app of the year. Twitter was chosen head and shoulders above all other forms of online social media. Communist facebook was a very, very […]
Tempe, AZ- Kurt Sizemore (22), was raced to the hospital after passersby saw him convulsing naked on the ground next to a beehive full of angry bees. Kurt was so heavily intoxicated that the EMT’s had an extremely difficult time initially deducing what had actually happened to him. What was […]
Glenda Stiller (71), was in court the other day to put on the record the story of how she contracted genital warts. The reason behind the trail was an insurance dispute between Stiller and her PPO. Her insurance was denying her claim for gastric bypass surgery on account of her […]
Modesto, CA- Gabby Miles (27) is being held at Stanislaus County Jail after word leaked onto social media from students at the high school where she taught, that she had offered the male students in her classes blowjobs for positive reviews on the year end teacher review surveys. Several of […]
Phoenix, AZ- Randy Simons (33) AKA “Peter Cummings”, is clinging to life at a local Phoenix hospital after a vicious beating at the hands of a biker gang. Randy mistakenly showed up to the house of an active member of the biker gang, “Hermanos Locos”. Randy Simons moonlights as a […]
Los Angeles, CA- Richard Malone (41), is comatose in the CCU (Critical Care Unit) at UCLA Medical Center. He has been in a coma for close to two weeks after his penis reduction surgery went horribly wrong. Richard is a life long Angelinò and has many friends and relatives in […]
Fillmore California – Brandy Williams has been taken to Ventura County jail after an altercation involving two Jehovah’s Witnesses. Ms. Williams was seen running naked after two young men on bicycles who were going door to door to spread the message of Christ in her neighborhood. “Ms. Williams thought it […]
Alice McEleny (44) of Bakersfield California, has been put into solitary confinement in a secure federal maximum security prison under the tightest security. Because of the heinousness of her crimes, her current location will not be disclosed to the public for fear of retaliation. Alice, who was born Alex McElney, […]
Sacremento, CA- Word from the Governor’s office has leaked out that starting on Monday, Governor Gavin Newsom will sign into effect a bill that will hasten the process for anyone named Brandon who wants to change their name. Along with a speedier process for those afflicted with the name, Newsom […]
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