Bakersfield, California- Phil Keller aged 33, is under suspicion of at least 137 acts of necrophilia after his manager caught him having intercourse with a prostitute he should have been pumping full of embalming fluid, not his penis. “I can’t believe the son of a bitch. The shit he was […]
Butte, MT – In a strange twist of events Shep Arnold reveals to police how his debauchery began. “Jerky making has been part of my family for generations. My Grandad Earl Arnold was the best I’d ever seen. I always wanted to live up to his standards. Man I tried […]
Midland, TX- Former pipe fitter Richard “Rex” Campbell has been living with the mummified remains of his mother for over 20 years. Before we go any further let us state that there has been no crime committed. Ursula Campbell passed away from natural causes in the late 90’s and it […]
Ranchester, Wyoming- Brother and sister, Ted and Amanda Matthews have been arrested on multiple charges of some seriously shocking crimes. The Matthews family has always kept to themselves with only the most dire of emergencies bringing anyone of them into town. So it was no surprise to most that their […]
Highland, TX- According to multiple sources Beavis is completely losing his shit over not being able to find T.P. for his bunghole. He will not be called anything but “The Great Cornholio” 24/7. “The Great Cornholio is a creature that needs T.P. to survive and we have never seen him […]
Seattle, WA- Three local high-schoolers have been expelled from school after they gave seagulls food stuffed with Alka Seltzer. The names and photos of the pranksters will not be released due to their ages. and these “pranksters” thought that’s all this would be, a prank. Well they got that and […]
Houston , TX- Local authorities have become aware that the deadly coronavirus has been found in crystal meth. According to criminal informants a shipment of meth that went through the port of Houston, was laced with the virus. There is extra concern for users of this drug and possibly contracting […]
Butte, MT – 72 year old Shep Arnold has been arrested for selling dehydrated human meat A.K.A. jerky at his general store “Shep’s Goods”. Well not all “Shep’s Goods” are “Good”. Arnold has been running his store for the last 35 years and over time there became a cult following […]
Hollywood, FL- Jack Steffen was fed up with people not cleaning up their dog’s shit in his yard. He had contacted authorities on many occasions, but was told he should take it up with his “HOA”. That answer was unacceptable for Jack, so he started collecting all the shit that […]
Beaumont, TX – Matthew Johnson (25) was arrested Sunday when he was caught having sexual relations with “Emmy”, the family sheep. Matthew was caught by his father who left church to pick up his wife’s asthma inhaler with the intentions of returning back to the service. Matthew’s dad, Phil, heard […]
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