January 15, 2022


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Man Caught Having Sex With The Family Sheep


Beaumont, TX – Matthew Johnson (25) was arrested Sunday when he was caught having sexual relations with “Emmy”, the family sheep. Matthew was caught by his father who left church to pick up his wife’s asthma inhaler with the intentions of returning back to the service.

Matthew’s dad, Phil, heard a strange noise coming from the backyard and went to check on it. What he saw would forever change him, “I saw Matthew giving it to Emmy doggystyle” said Phil.

Mathew’s didn’t stop because he wasn’t done. Matthew went on to explain to his father how he and Emmy had a relationship and this was just an expression of their love, all the while Matthew was still thrusting away.

“That boy ain’t never been right”, according to his uncle Ted.

Phil called the cops because he’s no idiot and his son is a sick f*ck. When authorities arrived, they immediatly removed him from the presense of Emmy and into the back of a police cruiser. He is currently on a 72hr hold at a mental hospital.