December 6, 2021

Ringsssss

Voted Best Satire Site On The Planet 3 Times

Pizza Delivery Man Fired For “Sexually” Relieving Himself Onto The Pizzas Of Known Non Tipping Customers. Wanted For Questioning By Police.

Houston, Texas – Max Green of Houston was fired from a local pizza delivery chain. Due to privacy the name of the restaurant will be withheld pending a police investigation into this sticky situation.

Green had been a delivery driver for 3yrs before any complaints had been filed against him. Pizzas were being delivered cold and not on time. Some pizzas had not even been cut into slices. According to Green, “I got fed up not getting tipped by the same customers over and over. Some of them had big ole houses and nice cars. I figure that’s money in the bank… Whelp nope! Then an idea comes to me ‘if they won’t give me a tip, i’ll give them something from mine’. Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Not such a good idea for the recipients of his “special deliveries”, whom were none the wiser at first. “It took me until the third slice when I noticed a strange liquid type material drip down my slice and pool in the box. I dipped my finger in the unknown goo and proceeded to do a taste test. It didn’t take me but 3 seconds to realize what it was do to my former line of work. “You’re gonna edit that part out right?”. I was horrified! What if I decided to eat it from the other end?! I could be pregnant right now!” – Identity of the victim(s) is being withheld as this is an ongoing investigation.

“No comment” is all we could get from the police.

Authorities are still investigating and collecting evidence at this point and have nothing to comment. Green is now trying to become a social media legend. “I figure people can become memes for stuff not really this cool ya know? I’m also thinking as starting my own pizza business called “Come Again Pizza”.

We here at ringsssss applaud Green as we are bent over laughing our asses off at the balls of this guy.

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