Helena, MT- Helena Regional Airport was the site of some commotion today when a large man was caught trying to smuggle 45 MAGA hats in his anus onto a airplane. Peter Peters was stopped by TSA when the body scanner showed the hats in his ass.
TSA agents asked Peter why he didn’t just put the hats in his suitcase with the rest of his luggage. The question seemed to short circuit Peters as common sense is not his strong suit.
We’ve come up with a few ideas why Mr. Peters would shove 45 hats up his ass. 1- He Enjoyed it. 2- He enjoyed it. 3- He’s an idiot.
Airport authorities say this is probably the dumbest guy they’ve ever ran into. “This guy is supposed to help make america great? Looks like we’re all f*cked, is what it looks like to me”.
Peters didn’t fully understand what was going on. He hadn’t had a hamberdger in 2 hrs. and was inconsolable.