Houston, TX- Larry Randolph was sick and tired of losing the annual chili cook off in his hometown of Houston. “My chili is just as good, if not better than anyone else’s, yet i feel the judges are holding a grudge against me and I don’t know why”, say Randolph.
Randolph aimed to fix this problem for the 2020 chili cook off. The night before the contest with chili pots simmering in the night, Randolph blasted turds and diarrhea into a bucket. “I took some ex lax the night before and ate about 5lbs of taco bell. I wasn’t gonna let these mother f*ckers cheat me out of the blue ribbon again. Middle of the night i took my heavy duty turkey baster and suck up as much of my mud pie as I could and I went to each simmering pot and added my secret ingredient.
The next day when the judges were starving. They tend to skip all meals that day until it is time for the judging. Somewhere around the 5th bowl of chili, the judges started getting sick one by one. First it was gas and burps followed later on by puke and diarrhea of their own.
Everyone was flabbergasted at what was going on. Suddenly the rest of the spectators got sick as well. Everyone who had eaten chili that day was blasting shit from their asses and puke from their mouths. All that is except Larry Randolph.
Larry sat back and enjoy the festivities. “At that point, I didn’t care about winning any stinking blue ribbon. When I looked up on stage and saw shit running down their legs, I knew I had already won”.