Traces Of Man’s Remains Found In Alligator Feces

Bert Keller (24) of Scottsdale Arizona always wanted an alligator growing up. So when he landed his dream job working at a zoo, Bert found a way to have the best of both worlds. He could form a bond with Milo The Gator and not have to worry about permits and neighbors if he kept him at home.

They took great pictures together

Bert loved going to work. In fact it was not unusual for him to stay the night with Milo in his dwelling. “He had been with Milo since he hatched and developed a bond no one could doubt”, a co-worker said.

Some would joke that Bert was in love with the gator, but those jokes were never taken seriously. One Friday night, like so many in past, Bert prepared for a weekend alone with Milo. Problem was he planned for a regular weekend not knowing it was a 3 day weekend. With only enough food for a 2 day weekend things went to shit real quick Monday after Milo’s regular feeding time.

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Bert never glowed like he did when he was around Milo

When his fellow employees arrived for work Tuesday there were several indicators that something was amiss. First of all Milo was in a deep slumber. The likes of which had not been seen before. Signs of Bert spending the weekend were there, but no sign of Bert himself.

It wasn’t until Friday when Milo woke and took his morning dump. Out came pieces of Bert’s clothing and his boots. That was it. Nothing more. Tests were done on the feces and on the stomach contents still in Milo’s belly. Beyond a preponderance of evidence, Bert was delclared dead and Milo was to blame. But was he? Fortunately Zoo officials did not kill the Alligator for being an Alligator.

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Bert’s Dad Virgil, “What did that dumbass think would happen sleeping next to an alligator?! They won’t even let me make a belt out of the damn thing”.

Bert’s family is happy knowing he spent his last days with his best bud and will forever be a part of him. They didn’t seem too shaken up.

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