Ojai, California- There is unrest in the scenic little town of Ojai California today. Popular resident Frances Anderson (42), has gone missing the day after a Judge ruled she could not marry her beloved German Shepard, ‘Roscoe’. Frances and Roscoe had been making news with their relationship in and around […]
Oxnard, CA- Clarissa Owens woke up this morning in the Ventura County Jail. She was placed into custody late last night after an altercation involving her husband where she beat him up. Clarissa was upset over a sign her husband, Kirk, had purchased from Bed Bath and Beyond. The sign […]
Houston, Texas- Lucy Benson (81), has been arrested on 43 charges of first degree murder. The suspect has been linked to at least 15 different retirement homes where suspicious deaths have occurred. Benson would befriend men whom had no heirs to leave money. She would gain their trust and build […]
New York, NY- Several years back, Yoko Ono confirmed the two had an affair in the 70’s and it seems their affection for one another has picked up right where it left off. Yoko Ono and Hillary Clinton were seen kissing behind the Waldorf Astoria. The two rushed hand in […]
Phoenix, AZ- Kenneth Fontaine (36) was apprehended by Maricopa county Sherrif’s during a routine traffic stop late Wednesday night. Fontaine was seen driving erratically down E. Bell Rd. and later pulled over for failure to yield at a four way stop. When the Sheriff’s Deputy approached the driver’s door , […]
Washington, DC- Bernie Sanders has had enough and he wants to settle the score once and for all with Donald Trump. Sanders believes Trump’s supporters enjoy many manly and masculine things; “Big trucks, oil, football, guns, BBQ, an odd fascination with deer and the like. So I figure comparing my […]
America, USA- The hate group, The KKK, have released the results of their year end review to their hate group members. Twitter was voted social media app of the year. Twitter was chosen head and shoulders above all other forms of online social media. Communist facebook was a very, very […]
Tempe, AZ- Kurt Sizemore (22), was raced to the hospital after passersby saw him convulsing naked on the ground next to a beehive full of angry bees. Kurt was so heavily intoxicated that the EMT’s had an extremely difficult time initially deducing what had actually happened to him. What was […]
Glenda Stiller (71), was in court the other day to put on the record the story of how she contracted genital warts. The reason behind the trail was an insurance dispute between Stiller and her PPO. Her insurance was denying her claim for gastric bypass surgery on account of her […]
Modesto, CA- Gabby Miles (27) is being held at Stanislaus County Jail after word leaked onto social media from students at the high school where she taught, that she had offered the male students in her classes blowjobs for positive reviews on the year end teacher review surveys. Several of […]
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