Las Vegas, NV- Popular singer Celine Dion has been diagnosed with stage 3 incurable LIGMA (Lymphnoid Intracellular Gastrioplasmasis Melivial Apadatharie). Routine blood tests the singer took last week detected anomalies in her white blood cell count. Additional testing confirmed what doctors had feared, that the singer had contracted LIGMA. Not […]
Detroit, MI- Robert James Ritchie, AKA “Kid Rock”, was found in a Detroit Hotel room early Saturday May 21st, 2022. Rock had been seen the night before at a Waffle House with a large entourage laughing and joking over waffles and malt liquor. Somewhere between the waffles and his 3rd […]
Los Angeles, CA- Dr. Peter Launt (41) is in Los Angeles’ county jail, the “Twin Towers” awaiting trail for the illegal consumption of an embryo. Other charges facing the doctor include; Felony destruction of an embryo, 14 separate HIPAA violations, Theft, Malpractice, and many potential civil suits also await the […]
Los Angeles, CA- Unless you have been living under a rock, you have seen Tesla vehicles all over the road. Here in Southern California it’s doubly true. Obnoxious Tesla drivers stick their noses in the air at us gas burners. To combat the rising belief that they are better than […]
Malibu, CA – Danny DeVito was found in his backyard pool on Friday May 6th, 2022. DeVito is widely known for his love of swimming. DeVito’s passion for the water came to him while rehearsing his role as the Penguin in 1992’s Batman Returns. “He really wanted to learn all […]
Ted Beyers of Phoenix Arizona will be spending the next few weeks recovering from a gruesome wound he suffered as a result of a dare gone wrong. Over the weekend Ted and his buddies gathered to watch NASCAR, drink beers and harass each other as good buddies tend to do. […]
Randy Cahill of Fountain Valley California has been arrested following a seemingly random spree of shitting on people’s private property. Turns out the locations where Cahill made a “deposit” were all prearranged with clients. Randy Cahill is in the revenge business and for $100 he would shit on a location […]
Las Vegas, NV- Orenthal James Simpson (74), commonly referred to as “O.J.” is in hospice at his Las Vegas home. O.J. acquired AIDS from a prostitute in Mexico after being banished from Las Vegas brothels. In the weeks leading up to what is likely the end, O.J. has hinted at […]
Ottowa, Canada- Justin Trudeau has announced that Will Smith may not seek refuge in Canada, “For years our borders have been open to our neighbors from the south, but let me make this clear, we don’t need anymore violent Americans in our country . We are aware of Will Smith’s […]
New York, NY- A popular Domino’s pizza restaurant has been shut down after a surprise inspection by Domino’s Corporate offices. The inspection revealed the restaurant was using various brands of store bought frozen pizza’s to cut costs. It is said that hard times drove store owner, Walter Hughes to take […]
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