Emotional Support

Los Angeles, CA- Unless you have been living under a rock, you have seen Tesla vehicles all over the road. Here in Southern California it’s doubly true. Obnoxious Tesla drivers stick their noses in the air at us gas burners. To combat the rising belief that they are better than […]

Chicago, Il- Gertrude Pettis (Maternal Granddaughter Of Marilyn Monroe) was in town to sign autographs for some of her grandmother’s super fans. An autograph from Gertrude is just the item some people are looking for to complete their Marilyn Monroe collections. For Gertrude the signings offer a way to travel […]

Herman Shudders Of Ojai California has battled obesity his whole life. In his early 20’s he had his first gastric bypass. After that surgery he lost 450 pounds over the course of 2 years. That dramatic of a weight loss caused an embarrassingly large amount of loose skin. He could […]

Montecito, CA- Oprah Winfrey was rushed to a Santa Barbara hospital from her home in Montecito early this morning. A call came in from one of her maids claiming she was in incredible pain and needed help urgently. Paramedics arrived at her compound and quickly got her into the ambulance […]

Miley Cyrus (29) was spotted in Los Angeles with a very noticeable baby bump. Her bump confirms rumors that she is pregnant with Hunter Biden’s (51) child. The two famously met some years back at an MTV after party where they bonded over drugs and growing up in their father’s […]

Oxnard, CA – Elizabeth Montgomery was arrested January 26th without incident for allegedly feeding her family the remains of late husband for Sunday night dinner. “Once a month we would go over to Grandma Montgomery’s for Sunday dinner. The month after Grandad disappeared was a particular hard time for us […]

In a stunning move, Nabisco has sent out word to various media outlets that their beloved Ritz “Crackers” will now be known as “Biscuits”. This comes after 10’s of 1000’s complaints were lodged by offended caucasians. “We received a bevy of emails and letters from people claiming that using the […]

Rachel Green (29) of Bakersfield California was rushed to the hospital over the weekend when she had a severe allergic reaction to peanut butter. Her and her boyfriend Carl were in the midst of a 72hr meth binge and wanted to have sex. Unfortunately for Rachel when she is high […]

Martin Andover arrived at the hospital in severe pain. Blood was steadily leaking from his crotch. Doctors rushed to see what was happening to his nether regions. “The pillar was there, but the stones were gone”, a doctor said. Martin was asked if he knew the location of his testicles […]

Lester Ottoblock is not your average mortician. This dude really enjoys his work. Not too unusual. But he loves to bang your loved ones. Don’t worry it’s a service his workplace offers. Lester will pay you $100 to go to pound town on your loved one’s if you like. Many […]